We are living in such uncertain times. When something starts, we never know when it will end. People are less interested in their careers, they are much more into making money here and now. You know that if you took that job, it doesn’t mean that you are going to build your career in it. Same goes for education. You may get a degree in psychology, but it doesn’t mean that you are going to become a psychologist. You know that being a cashier or a shop assistant is quite okay nowadays. Same goes for a relationship. You may start dating someone being in search of girls for marriage, but you don’t know whether it will end up with marriage or you will break up in a week or two. That’s the thrill of it all, having no knowledge about tomorrow.
Well, that’s okay when it’s about you. But you’re getting very irritated when you’re dating someone with that very same mindset. Dating a partner who doesn’t know what he wants is a real challenge, and mostly, a waste of time. In order to understand, check out the three warning signs that your partner doesn’t know what he wants.
1. He avoids talking about mutual future
Okay, you are dating for about a year, and while you are okay with the thrill of it all, the question “where the hell is it all going?” starts bugging you. Whenever you try to talk about your mutual future with your partner, he avoids it at any cost. He tells you about the thrill of it all. He tells you that he is unsure what tomorrow brings, and blah-blah-blah. Sometimes, he may give you an ambiguous answer like “Let’s see what tomorrow brings…”. The answer is simple, your partner doesn’t know what he wants and he’s not going to talk about it with you.
2. You’re doing everything on your own
You’re dating for a year and a half, and you’re planning to move in together. Your partner seems quite okay with that, but you get the feeling that you are checking all those apartments for rent on your own. Whenever you show him the options that you have found, he goes like “that’s okay” or “I think that’s fine”. And you’re getting really irritated, as you’ve picked a few nice apartments that are in a perfect location for both of you, it won’t take longer than half an hour for both of you to get to work, and he is acting like he doesn’t give a damn. Yep, you’re dating a guy who doesn’t know what he wants. He doesn’t know whether he wants to move in with you or not. But that’s the thrill of it all, isn’t it?
3. He continues to communicate with his exes
It’s not a big deal though, but he not only talks constantly about his past relationships, he continues to see his exes from time to time. Slowly, but you are getting annoyed at it. And the real reason behind your annoyance is that in his past you see your future. He didn’t know where his relationships with his exes were going, so they just dissolved. And your relationship is also most likely to dissolve too. But nobody knows for sure. Maybe you would be able to change him? Maybe not. But that’s the thrill of it all, right?
What to Do If He Hesitates
If a woman asks herself: “What does this relationship mean to him?” – it’s already a sign that something is not okay with this relationship. Her man may be thinking about breaking up, but some factors don’t allow him to make a final decision. However, there can be other reasons for his passivity.
Fear of making the wrong decision. He will deliberately delay the moment when he has to say yes or no. This is because all his life some other people were making decisions for him – his mother/teachers/boss. He doesn’t know what will be good and what will be bad for him. This explains his “pending” position.
Solution: If you like to call the shots, an obedient man, a henpecked husband, can be the right partner for you. But keep in mind that such men tend to decide between two women, leaving their partners for someone else and then getting back.
He cherishes the hope that you will change. Many men and women enter relationships hoping that they will be able to change their partners. The truth is that adult people do not change.
Solution: You can try to work on yourself and change for the better, or find someone who will accept you with all your merits and flaws.
Fear of loneliness. A man understands that this relationship has no future, but his inner fears don’t let him put an end to it. This happens if a man is afraid of staying alone, without support, love, and physical presence of someone who cares for him.
Solution: If a relationship goes on just because of his fear of loneliness, it’s doomed. This is where a woman can initiate a breakup in a very smooth way. She can introduce him to her friend, perhaps they will make a good match.
He has other options. One of those reasons that immediately spring to mind. Perhaps, he is dating several women and not ready to choose one. So he is benching you.
Solution: Just dump him and never deal with this kind of guys.
He sees both virtues and shortcomings. And this is why he can’t decide what to do with this relationship. He doesn’t know what matters more: strong points or weaknesses.
Solution: If you’re interested in saving this relationship, talk to your man. Perhaps, you can easily get rid of what he doesn’t like about you. If you don’t hold on to this relationship, just end it.
He likes drama, and he looks forward to being dumped. He needs it for a poetic inspiration or just because he likes to be a victim. He shows no interest in the relationship because he is anticipating tragedy.
Solution: Run away from him and get a serious partner.
Now it’s time to reveal why dating a partner who doesn’t know what he wants may turn out to be just a waste of time. Unfortunately, a partner who doesn’t know what he wants doesn’t actually want you. He’s just a rolling stone, and you’ve just happened to be with him. Most likely, your relationship will fall apart sooner or later. But there is a chance that your partner will change for you, and you would build something together. Maybe yes, maybe no, as you never know what tomorrow brings, but that’s the thrill of it all…